Listen Up, Kids: 10 Things Every Mother Should Teach Her Son

Bryce Gruber is a mom of Benjamin (3) and expecting mama of another bundle due in October. Pictured above, she’s the CEO/Founder + Editor-in-Ridiculocity at having been a featured lifestyle expert on the Wendy Williams show, The NY Times, The Wall Street Journal, and a ton of other surprisingly serious news sources. The three things she can’t live without as a mom? Lavendar tear-free bubble baths (they’re good for everyone in the house), shaved ice, & finger paints.

10 Things Every Mother Should Teach Her Son

by Bryce Gruber

Farting isn’t a sport. I had no idea what to expect when I gave birth to a little boy nearly three and a half years ago, but within weeks of his arrival he discovered that his tiny little tushie could make all sorts of interesting sounds. Since then, we’ve had to tame this… he’s learned the hard way that farting scares girls away.

Not all boys want to play football or hockey. No matter how our sons are born- masculine, gentle, or a little effeminate- they’re our sweet, beautiful sons. They don’t all subscribe to baseball bats and Power Rangers, and that’s OK. It’s also important that they know the other boys on the playground come in all shapes and sizes, too… and all of those are pretty great.

Saving your money is cooler than spending it on video games, audio equipment, anything you’d consider “iced out,” or surfing trips. FACT. It takes money to make money, so buy your audio equipment with the interest you made on the principal you saved.

Don’t go for the trashy girl at the bar. Please, it’ll break my heart and make me wonder why I tried so hard the first 20 years or so.

Everything worth having is worth working for, so don’t be lazy. Laziness leads to false, short-term fulfillment. No one ever won the Olympics sitting on their sofa, or penned incredible novels from oversleeping.

Ok, guys. That’s only 5 - and we’re running out of space… Read Bryce’s other gems of mommy/son advice here.

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